Opening Up Again

It is no secret or surprise that this summer has really taken a lot out of Jon and I for a lot of different reasons. Camp work first of all is hard, and very tiring! But with everything else going on around us, it just feels as though we are run down, beaten, and don't have much to give. I know its a bit silly, but the song that I feel I can relate to lately is "The Climb" by miley cyrus. Usually this kind of music is not what I like to listen to (pop music drives me up the wall!!), but I can see where she is coming from when she sings the following lyrics:

I can almost see it, that dream I'm dreaming

But there's a voice inside my head saying "you'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking, every move I make feels lost with no direction

My faith is shaken

But I gotta keep trying

Gotta keep my head held high...

...The struggles I'm facing, the chances I'm taking

Sometimes might knock me down, but no I'm not breaking

I feel as though I have so many things inside of me that I want to achieve and do, but I just cant seem to find my foothold. That voice inside really get loud and powerful sometimes, and I hate that - I want to believe in myself, not hold myself back!! And being at camp, looking into the future, I just wonder where my future is going to lead? Am I really cut out for a lifetime of full-time camp work? That seems to far removed from what my heart wants sometimes! But I know that I am doing good work (most days!!) and that I have to keep moving, because there are people who are counting on that. This summer has not been an easy one, and I definately think that I have learned a lesson or two in humility, as well as what it means to know yourself, when everyone else is trying to define you, but I am not breaking. The voice in my head sometimes tells me that my decision to step back in the fall and only be a part-time intern means that I can't handle it, and that I am not strong enough. But I know deep down that I am not broken, and that I am not beaten. I just need to re-focus and find what I love again. Anyways, last week some frusterating things happened, and I found myself sitting on the steps outside of the chapel while everyone else was inside, thinking about all these things. Then the band started to play the song "Cry in my Heart" by Starfield - here are the lyrics that stood out in this song to me:

There's a cry in my heart for Your glory to fall

For your presence to fill up my senses

There's a yearning again, a thirst for discipline, a hunger for things that are deeper

Could You take my beyond? Could You carry me through?

If I open my heart, could I go there with You?

For I've been here before, but I know there's still more

The Lord knows that there is a cry in my heart for something deeper, something more. He knows that I am missing Caronport, and the sense of community, and spiritual support that I had there. But He also what's best, and He has called me here, to camp, so that I can serve Him. I may feel so uneasy about the future, and just unsure of how well of a job I can do, but I don't have to do it alone. God loves Camp Imadene, and He will take care of it, and us the workers here. This song was a reminder to me that I am loved, and that He is willing to carry me, and that I don't need to be so strong all the time. A friend asked me the other day if I think my "fun" is slowly slipping out of me - I was shocked by the question, but answered that Ya I guess so. But in hind sight, I don't think my fun has left - I just think that I have curled into a ball of self protection, and have forgotten how to let anyone in - including the Lord. So this song is my reminder to open up, let Him in, and let Him work in me, because I am the best version of myself when He is in control. I am so thankful that we have a God that we can trust, and who loves us enough to take care of us!! I am also grateful that He gave me this reminder, and re-opened my eyes to the good work He is doing in, through, and around me!!

Being sick is no fun!

Its been a while since I last posted, but that is because Jon and I have both been sick with crazy head colds - NOT FUN! But last week was our last week with most of the LIT's. This week of camp is our last one, and it is senior camp, which means that we get LIT's up here that are too young for the actual LIT program, but still want some experience. We also got three of our older LIT's (Marika, Natasha, and Jacob) to stay this week and take on leadership roles with these younger guys, teaching them what being an LIT is all about. So on saturday we had to say good-bye to our group that has been up here all or most of the summer, and it was really sad! I really came to love these guys, and formed some REALLY tight relationships with quite a few of them. At the same time, with being sick and just feeling so drained (this is week TEN for us, including our training week that we led!!), it was more bitter-sweet. I will miss them, and their awesome personalities, but I also know that just because summer is over, does not mean that the friendships we formed are over - I will still go to Vic and take them out for lunch (right girls?!) or take the boys on a roadtrip to saskatchewan so they can experience Youth Quake (yay Cam and Jacob!!) and just keep up with each other. Having this new crew of younger kids is refreshing - they are fun, and eager to learn, and just really love camp!

In other news, my BABY BROTHER moved to Olds yesterday in order to play on a Junior A hockey team there that signed him, and are taking him into pre-season. Which means he will be living with a billited family, living three and bit hours away from home!!! It is SO weird - I mean I am SOOOO proud of him, he wanted this SO badly, and he deserves the break, but he's my little brother, moving out of home!!! This is the kid who I walked to and back home from school every single day for years because he was too small to do it himself. The same kid that snuck into my room for a LONG time when we first moved into our house because he didn't like his basement bedroom, and would sleep with me - and who during the day would INSIST on only calling me "sister" instead of Melissa. The same little brother who introduced ME to Hannah Montana, and who adopted my love for High School Musical, and even learned one of the dances in the second movie, just to make me laugh. I remember driving him to hockey practice, or to friends houses when I turned 16, and he thought he had the coolest sister ever, because I could drive. Even when I was in my first year of college, and my practicum was in his class, he was never ashamed of me - instead, he was always so proud that I was his sister. My mom used to tell me that I bring out the "crazy" in Brandon, because whenever I would come home from school, he would come out of his quiet shell and we always have a good time. This guy is the one person I have always looked out for, and who I know always has my back, and who I would be there for in a second if he needed me. I am so proud of him, and who he has become (and is still becoming!!), but it is CRAZY to me that he will no longer live at home for the next little while! It also blows my mind that he is going into grade 12 - when the heck did that happen??!! I love you Brandon, SO MUCH!!!! You may tower over me, and now be my protector, but you will always be my baby brother. Congratulations kid, we are so happy for you!!

Our "Champions"

Today in church the speaker talked about our "champions" in life - you know, the people who always cheered for you, believed in you, and seen more in you than you could ever see in yourself. He asked us to think for a moment about who our champions in life have been - in the past, and right now. He went on to say that every teenager should have 5 champions - five people who believe in them, and push them to be better people. As a couple who are intimately involved in the lives of teenagers this summer, it really got Jon and I thinking!! The speaker asked us to turn to the person beside us and share at least one champion we have had in our lives. Jon's immediate response was "Andy Renton" (his LIT supervisor as a teenager!) and mine was "Shayna Martin". We wanted to stop and think for a bit, and really think about and give thanks for our champions in life so far!! Here are our lists:

Mel's :
Shayna Martin - She constantly sees more in me than I ever could and she never ever gives up on me!!!
April Bauman - She never accepted the bare minimum - she always knew I was capable of more and cheered with me when I succeeded with every small step.
My Mom - Talk about a cheerleader!!! She's the one who always told me I could be and do whatever I wanted
AJ Crocker -He seen potential in me when others scoffed at him! He allowed me to jump through the hoops and be involved in Youth Quake, and pushed me to be the leader he knew I eventually could be. Three amazing years of being poured into by an incredible person.
Auntie LeeAnne - As a teenager, she was always there, cheering for me, having my back, telling me that I was great - I owe a LOT to her!
Jen Rebbeck - As my older "sister" this girl was such a good role model, and as I grew up, now one of my closest friends. She always let me know when she was disappointed because she knew I was made of something better.
Jon - He never lets me settle for just adequate. He is my biggest supporter, the one who dreams with me, and for me, and who sees the very best in me every single day, even when I cannot see anything that he is pointing out.

Jon's list: (mel typing, but Jon's words!)
Andy Renton & Kari Larson - His work crew supervisors at camp as a teenager - the two people who first pushed him to be a leader and really challenged him in his faith, to make it his own, and to be the best version of himself. He never wanted to let them down.
Chris Burdge - He took Jon under his wing, and constantly dreamed with him, even years ago before we knew that this would be our home. Chris always expected lots from Jon and pushed him beyond his comfort levels which always turned out good - Chris has always had faith in Jon and his potential.
Carrie Nolan - When she came to Kaleo as a teacher, she pointed out the leadership potential in Jon that he didn't know he had, and she pushed him towards Briercrest, and towards an outdoor degree. Before she came along, Jon had no idea of how deep his love for the outdoors were - she cheered him on and pushed him to develop that and continues to walk beside him.
Mel - Jon says that I believe him in, even when he is down on himself, and I encourage him to keep going, and I am always challenging him with his words. He claims that I never let him sit back, but that I am always pushing him in a loving way to be the best person that he can be, and I never give up on him.
Luke Lampard - Jon's big brother has ironically always seen Jon as bigger than Jon sees himself. Luke always tells Jon how he admires the things that he has done, and how proud he is of him. Luke is a huge cheerleader for Jon.
Tim/Lois - They never held Jon back - whether in faith or sports or schooling, they pushed him to follow his heart and do what he needed to do. They have always had faith that Jon would succeed, and continue to always be supportive.
Jinny is someone who right now we both see as our "Champion" - she sees so much good in us, and we always want to make her proud! She cheers for us daily :)
Jason/Cheri McNabb - they are also people who we see as both of our cheerleaders - they seen that we could make it as a couple, and they encouraged us to not be scared of age, and to believe in our love - they see us doing some amazing things together, as a couple. They cheer for us so loud, we are almost deaf!!

We are both sure that there are more people who could be on our list, but even so, this is a FULL list. We are so blessed to have these people who cared (and still care!) about us, and see the very best in us, as individuals and as a couple!! It's really cool to take a step back and just reflect on these important people! It is our deepest prayer this summer that we are giving our teenagers even just a portion of what these people have given us - this list is the people who believe in us, and we want to make them proud! Here is a cheer for our champions!

Relay "adventure" Night with the LIT's

Sunday's at camp are typically days that I dont like very much because they are just weird, kind of boring days. Tonight the program staff needed us to set up some tires for their night game, so we got all the LIT's (there was only 6 of them, because not very many work on sundays) to pile into the back of the truck and we told them we were going on an adventure. We drove around and made random "pit stops" where they had to jump out and perform random tasks (we just made up the tasks as we went along!). It was really fun and we all laughed a lot! It was a GREAT reminder of how fun these guys are, and why we love this job. They really make our job sweet, and they just add so much to our daily lives! Unfortunately, because the fun adventure was so spontaneous, I didn't take any pictures!! So Im just going to post pictures of the different participants that I have (I only have pics of four of them sadly!)

This is me and Miss Marika Welle - she ended up with 2 points!

This is Anna Banana - she is amazing and comes up just on weekends to help us clean! She had just 1 point - she knew how to spell saskatchewan! haha!

This is the beautiful Lisa! She also had one point - she threw a large rock the farthest!

And this is Mr Mitchell Frackson - the winner!!! What a guy! He excelled all around!

Well done guys! You all were winners :) Overall a very fun night!

Inflatable Fun!

The Junior Co-ed Camp that was here last week brought in inflatables for the campers to play on during their carnival. They left them up for an extra half hour after they were done with them so that our staff could play too! It was lots of fun racing on the slide and through the obstacle course, and watching the LIT's have fun after a really long and slighty hard week was good (the junior camp was not an easy one for us or the LIT's - maybe because they were so small, or because its nearing the end of summer?!). It was fun to hang out and laugh lots!

This is Jon and I racing up the steps to get to the slide - notice my form?! Arms are up! haha! And he is pushing me over!

Im just getting out the door and he is already out looking over at me- guess I lost. Sigh.

This is two of the LIT girls out here this summer - I adore these girls! The one on the left is Ava, and the one in the middle is Natasha!

This is the group of us that were around that night :)

Jon and Jacob have become great friends this summer - Jacob always gives us a laugh!

1st Anniversary Weekend of Fun!

On the 15th of August we celebrated our first whole year together as a married couple! This seems so strange to me, seeing as how I always said I was NEVER going to get married, and here I am at 22, married for one full year already. Oh how things change! I can recall our wedding day so vividly that is seems insane it was a whole year ago. Its so sweet to look back and see how much I loved Jon the day that I married him and how I thought I could never love anymore more than I did him in that moment. SURPRISE! A year later I love this guy even more than I did then (which is a pretty good thing I think!).

So on our anniversary weekend we somehow managed to get sunday off (which usually NEVER could happen because Jon runs an event on sunday here at camp called Kick-off, but Chris graciously said he would run it this once!) AND monday off! TWO DAYS IN A ROW!!!! Jon had the whole weekend planned out, and kept it all a surprise! (which is shocking on two levels - number one he knows I HATE surprises because I need to know everything so he usually doesn't plan them, an number two because he usually cant keep a secret from me). So saturday night after we were done work, he told me we were going on a picnic, and he had everything all packed and ready to go. Instead of going towards the car though, he took me to the edge of the lake near our house where he had a canoe waiting and said we had to get in. So we got in and he paddled us around the lake until we got to the far side to the new property camp just bought. Once we got there and got settled, he brought out a BBQ that he had stashed there and cooked me a DELICIOUS dinner of steak, salmon, rice and veggies. It was so calm and peaceful and such a great view! Once we were done, and after we hung out a while we paddled back home where we cuddled up in our house and played our favorite board game (ticket to ride).

The next morning I woke up to Jon opening the bedroom door with his hands full of plates and food! I didnt even hear him get up, but he had woken up earlier and made me breakfast. So we sat in bed and ate breakfast (once again, delicious!) and then got ready for our day. All I knew was that we were going on a roadtrip to somewhere on the island. We started driving (Jon driving, I was in control of the music) and ended up in Parksville. He had booked a room in the Pacific Shores Resort where Tim and Lois are time share owners, and it was a GORGEOUS resort!!!! The first thing we did in Parksville was go to the beach, and we seen the massive sand castles from the big competition they have each year! I was amazed at how intricate the sand castles were - seriously! How can they build those things with just sand??!! My favorite was one that was about a fairytale - very cute!

After that, we went over to Parksville Fellowship Baptist Church to meet Dan King - the youth pastor there that I have been wanting to meet for a while! I loved the church, and how welcoming and friendly it was! We are definately going to try to go down for a few services once camp season is over. Then we got dressed up and walked through the resort, and went to the restaurant there (which had HUGE fish tanks with some weird looking fishies) for dinner, which was followed by a walk on the beach to watch the sunset. Jon caught a crab, and I held it in my hand without tossing it and screaming! Improvements. I also gave Jon his present (a silver chain for him to wear all the time) and he gave me mine (a gift certificate to a day at a spa! WOOOT!) Overall, a very wonderful and romantic day :)

The next morning, we went to Smitty's for breakfast/lunch (yes we are real classy!) and then we went mini golfing! We love to mini golf - such a fun and goofy way to spend time! After we were all done that, (I won the game, but he won a free game!) we decided to come back home and spend the evening at camp! We came home to a messy house (not a lot of time for house cleaning lately!) so we cleaned a bit, then went down for dinner, and then decided to go swimming. We seen the Burdge's swimming, and they told us to come over, so we went and hung out with them! Being with great friends was a wonderful way to end a perfect weekend. I love anniversaries!!

The Summer So Far!

In April, we moved from Caronport (the town that we love and miss SO much!) to Mesachie Lake, living and working at Camp Imadene. Shayna made the trip with us (what a LONG trip that was - we were going CRAZY by the end of it!!) and helped us get all settled in. Our new home is a little duplex right on site at camp. We spent the spring adjusting to a new job, and with Jon trying to teach me all the ropes to Imadene. It was so rainy this spring - lame! This hindered our ability to really go out and explore our new surroundings, but Jon was still able to go out on a few adventures, such as repelling down a 80 ft cliff, and exploring some old mining caves! Both things that make me SO nervous when he is out there doing them, but always really sweet to see the pictures afterwards!

A few more highlights of the spring in between running guest groups and gearing up for the high season was watching my beautiful mom graduate from college and going to wildplay high ropes course in nanaimo! I almost cried watching my mom walk across the stage, knowing how hard she had worked for this, and I was just so proud of her! I also almost cried when we were 85 ft in the air, hanging from small wires and swinging on crazy stirrups from platform to platform - SCARY! I also this spring got to see my incredible cousin Jenna walk across the stage at her high school graduation and watch her take the world on by storm!

Overall, the spring was good - a bit lonely sometimes, just getting used to being away from school and a town full of people that I loved, as well as being so far away from my family for the first time (some would say I am not even far away, but I am used to only living three and a half hours away at the most!).

I miss being able to visit my aunts, and play with my awesome cousins, hanging out with Courtney, chatting about nothing with my mom, and kicking Brandon's butt at Ticket to Ride. I miss walking down the streets of Caronport, knowing everyone I am walking past, and living with my best friends ten feet away, and all the fun parties we had in our small apartment. But Camp is slowly turing into a home, full of all sorts of new fun things (such as being able to walk into the home next door to ours and immediately feeling like I belong somewhere, and that there is still a family somewhere nearby that loves me! - Sharon Burdge has been the most incredible neighbour!).

This summer has been FULL of exciting times, thanks to the teenagers that now dominate our life. The LIT's (leaders in training that volunteer at camp) that we are in charge of are such an AMAZING group of kids that I love dearly! They have each captured my heart in very significant ways. They have made this summer more than I expected, and have given me more than I ever could have hoped for. They are each so unique and diverse, and bring such a smile to my face every day (even the days when they are being slackers and I feel like a nag all day long!). We recently took them to a place called Skutz Falls, which is about ten minutes from camp, and a REALLY cool place to swim and play in some sweet rapids and fast currents. It was all around a great day - a highlight of my summer!

Having Nate up here this summer helping out has been SO good! I have no idea how we would have managed without him! The three of us have great times together, and work together well.

This summer has been really good so far. We have learned A LOT, and have been stretched in ways that we did not foresee, but we are working hard at jobs that we truly love. Jon and I make a good team together, and we balance each other. Seeing him in positions that I have never seen him in before is really amazing, and it makes me appreciate him even more. He thrives out at camp, and he is a powerhouse that I love to watch! Vise versa, he often says that it is really sweet to watch me connect with the LIT's, and be able to see me do what I am good at - love the teenagers that I have been blessed to care for. Camp work sure is hard sometimes - but also extremely gratifying!

One of the best parts of the summer so far though, I must say, has been able to actually be an auntie to our adorable neice Makenna!!! Living so far away, we missed out on the first year of her life, and being able to be around now, and get to know her has been amazing. Auntie is definately a title that I enjoy! Who wouldn't, with how cute this girl is?! This is me letting her suck on a sour soother - oh boy.

The start of my very first blog

Oh geez. I cant believe I am starting a blog - I have always boycotted them as much as possible! But lately I have been thinking a lot about life, and just how fast it changes and flies by! Jon and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary two days ago, and we talked a lot on that day about just how different life is now from a year ago. It has been quite the year, full of ups (GREAT ups!) and lows, and just a lot of memories all around. I realized that day that I want to be able to remember our life together, and be able to recall those fun (or not so fun) moments that we have, so that I can share that with our potential future kids - how great will it be for them to be able to look at this blog (which I plan on printing out and keeping) and have an insight to our life before they came along! Another reason I wanted to start this blog is because one of the biggest changes that has happened this year was me graduating from college, and us moving from the prairies out to BC - which means that I left behind a lot of family, and am far apart from really dear friends, and I want you guys to be able to know what is going on with us and stay fairly updated (this is NO way replaces phone calls, emails, skype dates, and all the neccessities for staying in touch!!!).

I named this blog A Real Life Fairytale - most days! because that is how I feel. We are happily married, live in a BEAUTIFUL location, have a dog that we love (even if he is crazy!!!) and are blessed all around. That does not mean that life is never hard, or that we dont have any issues, but just that we are lucky beyond belief. I wouldn't change a thing about our crazy, messy, fun life!