My Desire

While Jon and I work in our office, I always have my iTunes open and playing music. Today, this song by Jeremy Camp came on, and I was struck by the truth in these words in how they describe exactly how I feel in life right now. So I stopped what I was doing in order to write this post, because I was so impacted by it that I was eager to write it down to remember this moment. You can listen to the song on YouTube by clicking on this link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMatSkZrygk&feature=related

Here are the words of the song:

You want to be real, you want to be empty inside
You want to be someone laying down your pride
You want to be someone someday
Then lay it all down before the King

You want to be whole, you want to have purpose inside
You want to have virtue and purify your mind

You want to be set free today
Then lay it all down before the King

This is my desire, this is my return
This is my desire to be used by you

You want to be real, you want to be empty inside
All I know my heart is too feel you near
All I know my life, it's to do your will
It's to do your will

All my life I have seen
Where you've taken me
Beyond all I have hoped
And there's more left unseen

There's not much I can do to repay all you've done
So I give my hands to use.

So those are the lyrics. And even as I write them out here, I am just so blown away. I have been searching for purpose, for meaning, trying to figure out just what exactly is my role and part to play in life right now. But my desire is to do good work, to purify my mind, let go of my pride, and just give everything I am to the King. I want my work to matter, so that one day He will look at me and be pleased with what I have done with the life He gave me. And that is my purpose. So why is it so easy to lose sight of that? Getting lost along the way is just part of the journey I guess, but all I know is that I want my life to be a living sacrifice to the One who sacrificed his life for me. My life was redeemed, and He has given me more that I could have ever dreamed, and I am so incredibly thankful for that. I want to be someone someday, but I want to be someone who is handing her life over, knowing that I am not working for me, but for Him. This moment is my return.