Speechless...

Today has been a day that has left me speechless and in tears. For the past two week-ish I have been having crazy back pain that has been super annoying. Sharon has been working like a crazy woman trying to get me into see her chiropractor in Duncan, but this woman is very booked up, and my name got put on a waiting list that is YEAR LONG! I was really disappointed because this chiropractor (Tanya is her name) is known for being really really great, and she doesn't just crack bones, she really knows and studies the body as a whole. Anyways, due to the Lord showing me great mercy, their office called me today and said they could me in THIS AFTERNOON! This is something that they told me NEVER happens, but thanks to my persistant friend, they are making an exception! So I went to the appointment without really knowing what to expect. Well, the things she told me blew me away.

First of all, she looked at my whole body, and said its slighty shifted, causing the pain in my knee, despite my surgery being over a year and a half ago. And she said that I have a condition that causes my back to be out of line, with the muscle growing around the bone. She also said that because my body was all shifted, my shoulder was out of place, which is why I have pain there. She was SO nice and really encouraging, and she said that these are fixes that will take quite a few treatments, but that they were easy fixes. So after almost the whole appointment talking about my back and shoulder pain, and why its there, and talking about how we will fix it, right at the end she looks at my chart again. She notices that I wrote down there that I suffer from headaches. She asked me how many a month I would say I get, and I was honest and told her an average of two a week. She told me that that is NOT just suffering from heachaches, but that there is something more wrong there. I told her all about my experiences with the doctors, and all the drugs, and how its the headaches that really control my life. She asked if she could look at my neck - when she did, she found the two really tender spots that I always ask Jon to rub when I get headaches. I always assumed that it was tight muscles, because my head was so sore, but she said it was again bones out of place. She procecced to work her fingers up my skull and then let out a huge breath of air. She said there were plates IN MY SKULL that were also out of place. She asked me if this hurt, and pushed on a spot on my skull. I almost passed out from the pain- it was the exact pain that I get when I get a head pain.

She then told me that she is 95 % certain she knows what is wrong, and that she can fix it. FIX IT. As in TAKE A WAY MY HEADACHES! She said that if shes right, I can potentially be HEADACHE FREE IN A YEAR. Headache Free. As I sit here and write this, the tears are just flowing down my face (after having the whole afternoon to sink in), because that seems absurd to me. I have lived with these headaches for so long - they have affected every part of my life. I have cancelled plans, left work early, bailed on dates with Jon, skipped classes, had friends mad at me because I cant call them back because I am laying in bed unable to move, and so much more because of these headaches. Imagine having my life back? Imagine being able to feel normal pains of the bumps and bruises of life, because I no longer have to escape reality in order to cope with the pain I am in? Imagine being able to make plans in advance, without having to worry that we will probably have to cancel, because I will be puking in the bathroom because the pain is so blinding - imagine being FREE of that?!! IMAGINE!!! I can barely wrap my head around it. It is all I can do to stop my tears from flowing, just thinking about the improvement to our quality of life.

As I drove home from the doctor's office, the Britt Nicole song "Have Your Way" came on my iPod, and I was struck once again by the lyrics. This has been a song that in the last year has helped me over some pretty rough patches, with its honesty in crying out to the Lord. But today, it was these lyrics in the song that popped right out:

"You never said the road would be easy, but you said that you would never leave.
And you never promised that this life wasn't hard, but you promised you'd take care of me."

I was a desperate girl this week, trying to find relief for my back pain. When I finally went to Him to pray and to take over, I was given an opportunity to go see a doctor who has given me more hope than I ever bargained for. This life is NOT easy, nor is it supposed to be because that was NOT promised to us. But He has promised to walk right beside us, and to take CARE of us. What a concept! That we don't need to control everything, or to always be tough and take care of ourselves, because He has PROMISED to do that for us. WHOA!! That is huge. He is the ultimate physician, and he knows what is wrong with me, and why. He is now providing me with some answers, and once I finally handed over the pain to Him, He is moving forward with me in order to deal with it. I am hesitant in the chiropractor because I have been told more than once that a doctor will fix me, just to be let down, and hurting more than ever. But this time I have handed it over, and even if it does not totally get healed, I know that I am taken care of. Who could ask for more than that?!

I will keep you updated on the progress of my appointments with Tanya! My first one is mondays. I feel so much relief in knowing that soon I might be able to function properly, without a body that fails me! God is GOOD, yes?!